The Money And The Power

Getting Angry

When things in life are not going the way you want them to, you have a couple ways to deal with it. You can get over it, you can be sad or every now and than, you can get get pissed off. Because, sometimes things can't change until you decide that you've had enough of the bull crap that you've been facing. So when you reach the boiling point, you find yourself face to face with the infamous "fight or flight" phase.

Chose Fight.

At least, that's what I chose. Believe me, there are enough people in this world who make the other choice. Every time I look at where I am, I know that I need to keep fighting for something better. I used to wait for something awesome to come along because I thought just because I had all the "qualifications" and carried all the "expectations" for a success, I could get what I deserve.

What A Joke.

When the recession hit, all those fanciful ideas went right out the window but it took me a while to realize it. I admit that I thought that I was special. I thought OTHERS would struggle but me, I'm a "Go Getta". I have been working my behind off since high school to make sure I never make a mistake or misstep. Too bad for me. I fell. I hit the bottom. I mean the ROCK BOTTOM. I re-realized that life can suck...very much so. So there I was, in a situation where things were not going the way that I wanted or expected at all. Like I said earlier, I had a couple choices to make. Now I admit, I had a couple bouts of tears and sadness. I tried to get over it and except a life of mediocrity and persuade myself to apply for Target. After all, minimum wages was better than No Wages.

I filled out the application. I tried to settle into the thought of giving in, but something about that did not vibe right for me. The thing is, I kept thinking about how all my life, I thought I was special. I thought that I was set apart, not because I was necessarily better than anybody else. No. More like, my mind set was always under the arrogant assumption that I would aspire to greatness...simply because I believed I could.

I started wondering what happened to that spirit. What happened to the girl who entered contests, not thinking that I had a chance at winning, but KNOWING that I would? What happened to me and everything that made me special? And, that is when I started getting angry! With hot skin and sweat pouring from my grim face, I danced in my room; not for fun. No, not at all. For Power. I felt the rage building in me like the awakening of a dormant volcano. Where did that girl go? Nowhere! I was still there, past the desperation and insecurity. I couldn't believe that I was actually considering short selling myself. I was pissed. And when I hit that Fight or Flight instinct, believe me, I chose to fight.

Screw all of you fast-food joints and retail stores that think I'm going to pitch my TWO college degrees in the dumpster, piss on my Management Internship, and shoot all my awards, second language and leadership accomplishments to h%##! Why don't you take your Minimum wage, intellectually insulting, completely undeserving job and shove it up your bloated cash register!

I am so sick and tired of people expecting me to feel thankful to some human resource manager who looks over my amazing resume and decides that THEY will do ME a favor and hire me on part-time so they don't have to give me benefits! Excuse you! If I remember correctly, a company needs it's employees just as much or more than employees need them. How about this. How about I find a career, not a job and give that company the benefit of hiring ME? I know I have outstanding work ethic and all kinds of talents and essential skills. Any pay I earn, would never equate to the extraordinary benefits that would be gained from my employ...but they could try.

Sigh. Anger feels...nice. And what is it's outcome? Change! I demand better. So, I'll get it.

...and I'm pretty. 

Peace. Stay Sexy!